[Pacusagi] Dawn Walk

초 초. — Thu, 6 Aug 2026 22:41:44 +0900

The world wouldn’t stop spinning.

Just thirty minutes ago, Usagi had been drinking himself into oblivion. Why the hell did I do that? Regret crashed over him in waves. His stomach lurched, and bile threatened to rise up his throat. Clapping a hand over his mouth, he fought desperately to keep himself from throwing up.

He stared blankly at the ceiling. Everything swayed. It felt like he was trapped on a roller coaster that refused to stop. At the edge of his blurred vision, he caught sight of his boyfriend’s head.

Paco Laburantes.

Paco’s cock slid in and out of him with slow, steady thrusts. Every time it brushed against that sensitive spot deep inside, a broken cry spilled from Usagi’s lips.

A few more thrusts were all it took before pleasure overwhelmed him. His release spilled across his stomach in warm, trembling streaks. Moments later, Paco came inside him as well. The warmth blooming deep within his body was strangely addictive. Wrapping his legs around Paco’s waist, Usagi pulled him closer. Beneath his hands, hard muscle shifted with every measured breath Paco took.

“Paco.”

“What is it, Usagi?”

Usagi rubbed his cheek against Paco’s. Instead of pushing him away, Paco tightened his arms around him. A quiet sense of contentment slowly filled Usagi’s chest.

“…Nothing. I just… I love you.”

“Me too.”

“Say it back, Paco. Please… Say it back that ‘I love you’.”

“I love you, Usagi.”

“Thanks… I’m sleepy.”

“Then close your eyes.”

Still holding him close, Paco began humming softly. It was a lullaby from a country Usagi had never heard before. The melody, carried by Paco’s low, gentle voice, was impossibly warm—so gentle that it wrapped around him like a blanket.

Curled safely against Paco’s broad chest, Usagi let himself drift, little by little, into sleep.

—

When Usagi stirred awake again, the world outside the window was still pitch-black.

What time is it…?

He reached for his iPhone and pressed the power button.

4:37 a.m.

Far too early for sunrise.

For a moment, he stared blankly at the lock screen, Do Not Disturb still enabled. Then he leaned over and pressed a light kiss to Paco’s cheek.

“Paco.”

“…”

“Paco.”

“…Mm?”

“Wake up.”

Paco cracked one eye open.

“What is it?”

“Let’s go for a walk.”

“But it’s still the middle of the night.”

“Exactly!” Usagi grinned. “Let’s go on a sunrise walk.”

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Paco sat up. Maybe it was a habit left over from his years in the military—he shook off his drowsiness far faster than Usagi ever could. Reaching out with one large hand, he gently smoothed down Usagi’s messy bob.

“You really want to go?”

“Mhm.”

“Get dressed, then.”

“Dress me.”

Paco let out a long, tired sigh.

Even so, he bent down to pick up the clothes scattered beside the bed, giving the wrinkled shirt a couple of absent-minded shakes before holding it open.

“Hands up.”

Usagi obediently lifted both arms over his head. The rumpled shirt slipped down over his body, and he let out a long yawn as Paco tugged it into place.

Paco watched him for a second before grabbing him by the wrist.

“Come on. Move.”

“…I’ve changed my mind.”

“You were the one who wanted to go.”

Half dragged out of bed by Paco, Usagi stumbled after him.

Paco’s house sat only a short distance from the beach. The cool predawn air of Honolulu hit Usagi square in the face the moment they stepped outside.

“So cold!”

“Come here.”

Without another word, Paco pulled him into his arms.

Usagi disappeared completely against Paco’s broad frame. Wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s sturdy torso, he soaked in the warmth radiating from his bare skin until the chill slowly melted away.

“You’re always so warm.”

“You’re just ridiculously cold, idiot.”

“Don’t call me an idiot…”

“…Fine.”

They stayed like that for a little while longer, wrapped in each other’s arms.

There wasn’t a soul around to see them. At that strange hour before dawn—and well outside the tourist season—no one else had any reason to wander the beaches of Honolulu.

“Okay.” Usagi pulled back with a grin. “Let’s go! I’m awake now.”

“Good.”

Slipping his hand into Paco’s large, warm one, Usagi led the way.

The beach was only a minute away. The sound of waves rolling onto the palm-lined shore drifted toward them on the cool morning breeze.

The sidewalk stretched ahead beneath scattered streetlights, their fingers intertwined as they walked at a brisk pace. Somewhere farther inland came the distant hum of traffic, occasionally broken by the sharp growl of a supercar’s engine.

Where are people even going this early…?

The thought made Usagi so giddy he had to bite back the urge to shout into the empty streets.

“Paco.”

“Hm?”

“…I really, really love you.”

“I know. I love you too, Usagi.”

“Will you tell me you love me?”

“I love you.”

“…Even when I don’t ask, tell me.”

“I love you. I love you, I love you, Usagi. I love you…”

Usagi beamed.

“Thanks! I love you too, Paco. Paco Laburantes… I love you so much.”

“I know.”

“…Dummy.”

The air smelled like the ocean at dawn—salt, cool sea breeze, and that crisp freshness unique to the hour before sunrise. It reminded Usagi of a cold sports drink, clean and invigorating.

For a while, the only sound was the rhythm of their footsteps.

Then the roar of a departing airplane rolled across the sky, drowning everything else out.

Usagi suddenly stopped beneath a streetlamp, breathing hard.

Paco, meanwhile, looked as composed as ever. Not even slightly out of breath, he halted beside him.

“What?”

“Huh? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said, what’s wrong?”

“…Oh.”

Usagi smiled sheepishly.

“Nothing. I just…”

Usagi reached up, his slender fingers gently cupping Paco’s cheek.

Paco already knew what was coming.

He closed his eyes.

Just as he’d expected, he felt Usagi’s breath brush against the tip of his nose before soft lips met his own. A moment later, Usagi’s tongue slipped between them, slow and unhurried.

Ordinarily, Paco wasn’t particularly fond of kissing Usagi.

Kissing felt… equal.

And Paco had never wanted that.

He wanted Usagi beneath him, always. Maybe it was instinct—something deeply rooted in him as a man. The instinct to live by hierarchy, to define himself through it.

But this time…

This time, he found he didn’t mind.

He cracked one eye open just enough to look at Usagi.

His eyes were squeezed shut, black eyeliner smudged faintly around them. Golden light pooled beneath the streetlamp overhead, tiny specks of dust drifting lazily through it.

For a fleeting moment, Paco thought it looked like something out of a movie.

He had dated women before.

None of them had ever made him feel like this.

The breeze against their skin was cool.

Even after the roar of the airplane had faded into the distance, neither of them pulled away. The only sound left was the quiet, wet rhythm of the kiss shared between them.

Eventually, the need for air won.

Usagi was the first to break away.

As he wiped the saliva from beneath his chin with the back of his hand, the streetlamp cast soft shadows across the curve of his face. Paco found the sight unexpectedly, dangerously beautiful.

His hands settled firmly on Usagi’s rounded shoulders.

Those large, dark eyes looked up at him with quiet affection.

For a brief moment, Paco caught sight of his own reflection in them.

Then, unable to hold the gaze any longer, he looked away.

“Let’s go.”

“Okay…”

They broke into an easy jog once more.

With the difference in their heights, Paco naturally shortened his stride to match Usagi’s pace.

—

There was nothing to be miserable about.

No drugs, no family, no money, even no crimes.

Not any of the ugly things that had haunted their lives.

Closed restaurants and storefronts slipped past them one after another—a musubi cafe, a jewelry store, a Korean restaurant, an ice cream parlor.

Neither of them spared those places a second glance.

Under the dark predawn sky, the only things that seemed to exist were the scattered glow of the streetlights…

…and the two of them, running side by side.

—

Somewhere in the distance, an engine roared and the smell of exhaust drifted through the air. Maybe there had been a car accident on the four-lane road up on the hill.

Usagi laughed brightly, cheeks flushed with excitement. Paco found himself smiling too—a rare smile, the kind that didn’t appear on his face very often.

Usagi shoved a hand into the pocket of his loose sweatpants. When he pulled it out, he was holding a silver cigarette case and a small oil lighter.

“Want one?”

Paco raised an eyebrow.

“Cigarettes or weed?”

“Cigarettes!” Usagi protested immediately. “I rolled them myself…”

“Really?”

“Yap!”

Looking deeply offended, Usagi snapped open the case to show him.

Paco took one of the unevenly packed cigarettes and brought it to his nose. The scent was unmistakable—tobacco, not cannabis. Satisfied, he slipped it between his lips and tilted his head toward Usagi.

“Lighter.”

“Wait a second! You’re so impatient.”

Usagi pulled one out for himself, then flicked open the lighter. The flame caught the tip of his cigarette, paper and tobacco glowing together in the darkness like a tiny ember.

He stepped closer, one hand resting on Paco’s shoulder, and rose onto his toes to touch the burning end of his own cigarette to Paco’s.

Paco inhaled sharply. The fire transferred, and his cigarette finally lit.

“How is it?”

“Not bad.”

As if they had done this together a hundred times before, they slowed their pace and wandered down the street side by side, smoking in comfortable silence.

Two thin trails of smoke curled upward beneath the black sky. In the darkness, every exhale slipping between their lips looked strangely vivid.

“You know,” Paco said after a while, “I didn’t know you could roll cigarettes too.”

“It’s basically the same technique as rolling weed.”

“Shut up. If you start rolling weed, I’ll kill you.”

“Don’t say things like that!”

At the exact moment Usagi protested, the old electronics shop they were passing flicked on its lights.

Usagi took a couple of steps backward, peering through the display window. Vintage CRT televisions and retro appliances lined the shelves inside. One by one, the televisions crackled to life, and the early morning news filled the screens.

The report was about the accident on the hillside road Paco and Usagi had walked past only minutes earlier.

On the static-flecked screen, footage showed two mangled cars locked together after a violent collision.

“Breaking news. A traffic accident reported moments ago in Honolulu has—”

“Damn, Jeez! There really was an accident!”

“So what?”

“I don’t know… Isn’t it kind of crazy? It happened right there.”

Paco shot him a flat look.

“Usagi, you idio… …Remember, we’re the kind of people who could end up causing an accident ourselves. What’s so fascinating about it?”

“…Oh.”

Usagi stared blankly at the curved television screen, looking as though something had suddenly clicked in his head.

After a moment, he smiled.

“…Wanna head back? That was a fun walk, wasn’t it, Paco?”

“Yeah.” Paco nodded. “As long as you enjoyed it.”

“What about you? Didn’t you have fun?”

“…I did.”

“There! Then let’s go.”

Usagi reached for Paco’s hand again without hesitation.

Glancing down, Paco checked the Apple Watch around his wrist.

5:41 a.m.

When did we walk this far?

The sky was beginning to brighten, soft colors slowly bleeding across the horizon as the outlines of the clouds came into focus. On the way back, the streetlights had already gone dark.

Paco looked down at Usagi’s red hair, swaying gently with each step.

If Usagi could stay by his side forever…

…then maybe, just maybe, Paco could keep believing in himself forever, too.

G R A S S

[Pacusagi] Dawn Walk